“We let others shape our beliefs and decisions — so much so that we lose sight of who we are” -Isha Judd
Everybody struggles to find and especially act out their true identity.
This makes sense, however, as we are highly developed social animals. However, not every survival feature (such as conforming to our environment to the point of harm to our well being) is useful in the 21st century.
I’m here to help you with this.
One of the toughest challenges when it comes to self-realization, is this desire to fit in and confirm, but how do we control it?
1. Get to know yourself.
Darlene Lancer, a psychotherapist and author of Codependency for Dummies said;
“You can’t be independent if you don’t know who you are” To get to know yourself, she suggested journaling and reflecting on what happened during your day.
She suggests that you make a journal of what happened during your day and use that as an opportunity to reflect on what happened to your during that day
(presumably both physically and mentally, maybe try looking at what your true internal reaction was when something happened to you).
She went on to suggest that you ask yourself: “Did I speak my truth?” “Notice the gap between what you’re feeling inside and your words and behavior, which you show to the world.” She provided an example; maybe you said yes to something you really didn’t want to do, what can you learn from that experience?
2. Start making your own decisions.
About this Lancer said; One way to ease into making your own decisions is by determining how you’d like to spend your day, Ask yourself: “What do I want to do?” it’s important that you consider your passions and hobbies, what’s near your heart ❤️.
One way to enact this tip is by being more assertive.
You need to be clear about what you want, make your case! Note that you should not just argue and fight for the sake of arguing and fighting, you need to have clear directions. Besides, who can have their dream day when just being pushed around all the time?
3. Go Commit Die
as you can see, this one is very simple; laugh and stay happy (though reading the heading might just have made you actually go commit die).
it is easy to get into a defensive mindset when you are sad and miserable, it is natural, seeing as when we are sad we try to preserve ourselves instead of exploring…
I don’t know what more to say haha, I’m tired now and wanna try StarCraft 2 for the first (technically second) time in my life… it’s just so confusing with all the key bindings you need to be able to be competitive.